not brave, (pissed off maybe)

It has been sugggested to me a number of times how brave I am for dealing with breast cancer so valiantly and sharing so openly. Thanks, but I don’t deserve it.  Really.  I’m not brave.  I did not have any choice. When the cards were dealt this time, I just got a “bad hand”, and I’m trying to make the best of it.

People who are brave, are the ones who have the choice to play it safe or take a great risk for the benefit of others.  Not me.  I wouldn’t have taken this leap willingly.  Not even to help support and educate others.

KARMA  

I still, despite my very first post, cling to the notion of karma. It is for this reason it is so important for me to share this experience.  It is not even cerebral, it is more “instinct”. Maybe it is because I am a teacher I am driven to write, to talk, to share. I have met so many women in this, my first short trip to Cancerland so far that have helped me with just their conversation, how can I not do the  same?

MET MY FIRST ASSHOLE  

Might have to come back and change that title, but that is how I feel about this as yet unamed person at 5:28  am Friday morning.  Yesterday, I called my oncologists’ office to be sure it was OK to bring along a second support person to my first meeting with the Doctor who will be giving me my plan for killin’ rogue Cancer cells.  

It was some person “upstairs” at the Toledo Hospital Cancer Care Center who said I would have to write a proposal and submit it to the board (at their monthly board meeting for their approval) before I could bring a support person who would be holding a camera.  Yea, OK, he is a photographer and I suppose that makes some PR people weak in the knees, but this is my decision about my health odyssey. Be dammed with HIPPA!  I’d carry my own camera, but the literal truth is I can’t carry more than a couple of pounds without pain in my chest.  Any suggestions about what I should do to reverse this “policy”?

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