Sleepless in Perrysburg, courtesy of cancer

3;30 am Thursday morning awake again.  I tried to will myself back to sleep, even put on my lavender stuffed sleep mask, but 35 minutes later no success.  Since today is chemo day, I really need sleep now as I have to be up in a few hours getting ready to go to University of Michigan to conduct the business of “killin’ some cancer cells”.  Maybe the writing will be my medicine to go back to sleep.

I think the day before chemo is a good one to stay busy, and that I did yesterday.  I am happy to report that I spent most of the day with a bare-naked head.  It was kind of chilly on my morning walk at 7:00 am though….that is a really ligitimate time to cover the head, for warmth. 

I was at the Victory Center by 10:15 for my Healing touch appointment with Veronica.  This woman is reallly unique and special and thoughtful and focused completely in the moment and with the client on her table at that moment.  It is a privelege to have Veronica work on you.  Here is an edited version of the Victory Center’s description of  this free service for cancer patients:   “Healing touch is a complimentary therapy, energy based approach to healing.  The practioner works with the energy of the body to induce deep relaxation in order to restore harmony and balance in one’s energy system, helping the client to self-heal.  Scientific research suggests that Energy Work is helpful in promoting relaxation, reducing pain, and managing stress.  It is also believed to be effective and speed tissue and bone healing and strengthening the immune system.  Energy work is useful in combination with traditional medicine as part of an effective health care program.”

All I know is I feel so much better after a session with Veronica or Tom, the other practioner who has a very different approach, but equally as fabulous.  For me, the benefit is definately physical.  I always feel a little lighter when I leave. Energy Work is also a good psychological and emotional trip.  It is difficult to describe the last bit, as it is different each time.  This I know for sure, you must be completely willing and open minded to receive the greatest benefits.  At times I have fabulous visions that find themselves into artwork, writing, or just reside in my brain until their meaning becomes more clear.  It’s all good.  See the note at the bottom of this post.

So after the session I had enough time for lunch at Panera’s on Talmadge Road in Toledo.  At 12:30, busiest time of the day.    Since I forced myself to leave the hat at home, this was my first trip since getting my head shaved walking into a completely public place(non-cancer minded).  You know, as long as I don’t have a mirror around, I can almost forget that my head has the “Sean Connery” look going.  This is what I do…try to walk REAL TALL and “stride” whenever possible.  Something I learned a long time ago in sales:  Even if you don’t feel confident, act confident.  No one will know the difference, and eventually your brain will believe you.  So as you might imagine, I am doing a lot of “acting” confident.  Only here will I tell you I am not really quite there yet.  Before I left Panera’s I found out that the lady sitting next to me is a “survivor” she wished me luck on the chemo today, but I kind of wish she hadn’t pointed out that not all her hair grew back.  She has to do a “comb-over” on the top just like her husband.  :^(  So I was acting when I thanked her for speaking to me and sharing her story.  I’ll try to remember to not tell anyone else something like that unless they “ask for it”…..

Still keeping busy, I said goodbye to thin hair lady and hustled off to Dr. Barones office for the 1:30 appt.  It was a bit of a wait in the outer office, as it can be when you have a popular plastic surgeon.  I felt a little sorry for the new patient (obvious by her filling out the many preliminary forms) getting more antsy by the moment.  Just as I was called in she looked around the now full waiting room and generically asked, “Are your all waiting for Dr. Barone?  What times are your appointments???”  If I wouldn’t haver been called in to the examining room I would have told her to get used to it.  The surgeons whonreally take the time with their patients frequently get off schedule.  I don’t mind, I love this doc.  He really looks you in the eye and answers all of your questions.  I’ll sit in the waiting room for hours for that.  AND he finally answered the question of when we can start on reconstruction of the sad, cancer-side-left-breast.  Well, it was “kind of” an answer…..a couple months or so after the end of all cancer treatment.  After chemo, and if necessary after radiation.  So, maybe December.  Maybe Spring Break.   maybemaybemaybe…………sigh……….. 

I stopped at The Anderson’s on the way home to pick up some food for the “potluck” on Friday, and also picked up a summer outdoorsy kind of hat.  Figured I would need another one for the rest of the summer.

I’ll come back and edit and finish this later….going to try to sleep again.



One Response to “Sleepless in Perrysburg, courtesy of cancer”

  1. gaely Says:

    Hope you got your needed rest my dear.

    I know Dad had all kinds of un-asked for input that was a lot worse than thinhairedladie’s. Trying to be helpful? Not. Just out to share? No boundries there! Needs to be verbally slapped? I don’t know if it would actually help. the lesson of what not to do is good.

    Keep walking with that confidence that fits you so well and your brain will indeed start agreeing with you. You are those beautiful women.

    Thinking about you a lot today knowing your anxiety must have been higher now that you know what’s ahead. I send as much positive energy as possible your way with oceans upon oceans of love.

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