Irrational fear.

So today is Monday, four days after chemo, and I’m feeling kind of OK.  I was able to get up and walk for 25 minutes this morning, and followed up with an hour of  rest.  Other than the horrible and icky mettalic taste in my mouth, the general fatigue, and slight achiness in my bones, I feel pretty good.  And that is what kind of scares me. 

I have read a fair amount on this subject, but I am still worried…..I seem to be handling chemotherapy remarkably well.  Does this mean that I’m not getting a strong enough regemin?  If my other cells aren’t suffering, then maybe the potential cancer cells that are possibly floating around in my body are completely free to do as they please.  It’s not that I want to be suffering, but I just want this chemo experience to be doing the job………  And intellectually, I know these thoughts are completely irrational, and they should not be entering my mind.  

Hmmmnnnn.  I guess this is anxiety creeping into my consciousness again. 

I just wish I could be sure of anything right now.

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3 Responses to “Irrational fear.”

  1. Tom Fong Says:

    Try stopping all energy sessions and see if you can get the awful condition to follow what a normal chemo will do to your whole body.
    Why are you looking for the awful effects?

  2. kaylynne50 Says:

    I’m not really looking for a “bad time”, I’m just scared. And worried. And trying to keep my head above it all.

  3. Kelly Brooks Says:

    Kay Lynne: This reminds me of when I used to work in OB and people would get very worried if they were NOT sick during pregnancy….like maybe their hormones weren’t doing the right thing to take care of the baby. As you know, everybody reacts differently to everything. We’ve seen hundreds of people go through chemo; some are terribly sick, some feel great, and most are somewhere in between. You don’t HAVE to be sick for chemo to “work”. It must be hard to stop the “head chatter” though. That’s what happens when you’re a smart woman! 🙂

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