Day 28

Today is the last radiation, and I should feel happy and excited about that, but I don’t. 

Maybe it is because Dr. R. explained that my radiation burns will not get better for a couple weeks…the cell death from todays burn will continue for 10 or more days.  So the skin will continue to deteriorate for awhile yet.  It already feels more awful than I could have ever imagined.

Maybe it is because it means I’ll have to get in that betsy one more time and raise my arm above my head into a position that hurts so badly, I do all I can to fight back tears. 

Maybe it is because after today, no one is looking at me to see how I am.  Well, actually that is a little lie.  But I have become accustomed to the daily interaction with the  medical professionals.

So, I’ll go to work, pretend to be happy while I’m there, then go to radiation and try not to cry.

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