Archive for October, 2010

Compartmentalize this!

October 28, 2010

So yesterday I had a regular checkup with Dr. Barone but of course had my surprise, the big hard lump/bump on my left chest to show him.  I had expected him to kind of brush it off, but he instead gave me an order for a CT scan.  Which I’m afraid to say, is exactly what I wanted.

I’m beginning to feel like a medical junkie.  Like I can’t wait for the next “fix”, the next procedure………..just when I think I’m out of the woods for a weekly medical appointment, something new comes up (this time, literally.)

CT scan is scheduled for next week, November 5th.  So for now, I have to place all the anxious thoughts about this lump in my chest that  seems to change shape weekly and place them in a box out of the way of my conscious mind.  Let’s see how much self control I can impose upon myself for yet another week.

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October 19, 2010

It’s been over ten days I’ve beeen living with this super hard mass in my left chest.  Today I had my regular appointment with Dr. Schott, Oncologist at U of M.  She sent me for an ultrasound, and the verdict is……………..!  Right–no real answer.  They are pretty sure it is not a tumor, but no idea of what it is….well. they have an idea.  It might be fat necrosis, none of the docs are 100% sure. 

SO-the plan is to watch it and wait……….

Saturday, 10-9-10

October 9, 2010

I’m a little worried that the big hard mass I can feel in about the “11:00” position on my left chest is something…..uh, something to worry about.  Found this last thursday night.  Friday I saw Plastic Surgeon nurse, who thinks it is just a part of my ribcage.  I was relieved (sorta) that she was not as alarmed as I was.

But I don’t think it is normal bone.

And I think I’ll have to call one of the onco’s to get another opinion on Monday.  Think they work on Columbus Day?

5:30 am

October 7, 2010

This is what I wonder. 

WHY did I forget to take the Arimidex two days in a row?  Realized that error last night.  I’m thinking that is why I woke up two times in the middle of the night.   Punishing myself for this huge error.  (I’ll surely pay for the lack of sleep today…….)

Arimidex is the biggest weapon I have in my fight against reoccurance.  Makes no sense I would forget it.  Sixteen months post chemo, and I’m still missing important connections.

This is what is pissing me off the most.  Then, as soon as that thought goes through my mind, I think of all the people I’ve met in the chemo and radiation waiting areas, at the cancer  benefits etc. who are still in the middle of the big battles, and some of them have even lost the fight.

God, I hate internal conflicts.